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Stump the Gump


Posted: May 14, 2010 4:22AM; Updated: May 14, 2010 9:46AM
Yo. Here we are with summer upon us. The sun is shining, the trees are growing, the birds are singing…. Oh, no they’re not… the sun is not shining, it’s raining constantly, the wind is blowing the roof off of my house, literally, and the birds are wondering what the hell they came back to while checking their cell phones to make sure they didn’t come back in the wrong month. But, even if the weather isn’t turning, with the turning of the calendar comes another Summer Session at the Amherst Berger Center (since we’re all throwing names around apparently).  
 
It seems my unrealistic fantasy-fueled wish of being a defenseman this summer has unfortunately/fortunately come true. Who would have thought this? I enjoyed playing the role in the Copper League at Kenan, but there’s no way it could have prepared me for what was yet to come. Yes, I’m skating as a forward/defenseman this Summer, in the Gold Division!!! What???? This isn’t supposed to happen. I’m supposed to be in goal getting blown by, not 30 feet out in front of it! Through 3 games, we are 0-3, and I think I have one point, and I know it’s not a goal. I’ve recently been moved to forward. I don’t know if it’s because of me or those around me. On the surface, of course I’ll blame those around me, but deep down, I know it’s probably me haha. The experiment will continue at least in the short term, beyond that, only time, and more poor play, will tell.  
 
The last time we spoke, it was February and I was in the process of re-modeling (can you call it re-modeling if it’s never been “modeled”?) my concrete dungeon of a basement. The task is complete. What a journey, and what a payoff. I now have a wide variety of standard bar selections, and ALWAYS two beers on tap. So far I’ve already had Blue, Blue Light, and Sam Adams Boston Lager on tap, with Blue Moon and probably Sam Adams Summer Ale on the horizon. And oh yes, the bar, the beer distribution system, and all of the accompanying surroundings, including multiple televisions, surround sound, lights, décor, and other accessories were all custom built by yours truly. It is an engineering marvel. I can say that because I have two degrees in engineering wooooooooooo. Also, I’ll probably be making accommodations to house Genesee on tap for the pending visit from my Dad in July. Ok, back to things that other people might care about. Anyway, that’s that, if you have my number, give me a call sometime and I’ll have you over, maybe.
 
I’m sure I’ll see you allllllllll at the rink sometime soon. I apologize for not turning out a set of Kenan awards, as I was just way too out of the picture to put together anything entertaining outside of my own CHAMPIONSHIP Winning Horse Collar Copper Team wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I’ll see what I can do for Pepsi, the Gumpanys will be lurking. Since Steve stole my somewhat already pirated exit catch phrase….  
 
END: TRANSMISSION.

About the Author
A gifted writer, Chris routinely has a beat on the pulse of the house leagues within the organization. Well known for giving out his "Gumpany" awards, Chris adds humor, intelligence, and an intense zeal for professional wrestling to his reporting. "Chris is an unbelievably intelligent young man. I have got to know him very well over the years, and he is a class act. He has assisted me with numerous writing projects and is always willing to help out," says President Eric Haak.